matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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