I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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