I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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