For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
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I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
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I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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