Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
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