Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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