i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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