ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
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I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
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he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
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