Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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