I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
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