Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize