You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
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Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
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I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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