My friends, they love my intelligence
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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