omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
only if we run a train.
done.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize