I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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