I like my sex mixed with concussions.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize