i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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