Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I intend to get homeless drunk
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize