Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Randomize