How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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