Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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