Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
In other news, I just burned my penis
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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