she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
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