I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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