I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i just google imaged poop.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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