I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize