She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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