I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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