I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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