So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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