do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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