have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize