So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize