he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
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He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
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On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
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