the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize