it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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