You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize