Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
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