Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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