Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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