I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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