How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize