When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
do herpes really smell.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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