how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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