Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, jail baloney is awful.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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