we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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