Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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