So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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