Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
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And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
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You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
My vagina is officially offended.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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