forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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